hmm

Well, certainly not feeling any better. Due to insurance problems, I am not covered right now, and just the task of searching out a doctor etc. is daunting. I just feel like I need help, and I don't want to have to jump through hoops to get it. I just need it. It has been really tough not having my mom around.
I am pretty sure Fern has another ear infection. Yesterday morning she seemed fine, but since then she's been the typical crank-puss. Just not nursing great, not easy to keep happy, whining constantly or crying, a little warm (99.7 degrees) and not going down or staying down well. She JUST finished her antibiotics yesterday, so I don't know what this means. We are going to the doctor at 2 PM (great timing for Sage's nap, but what can you do?), so we'll see.
We are heading up to upstate NY tomorrow morning until Saturday morning. It is my mom's family reunion. I am hoping it actually feels like a vacation, somewhat, and it isn't just hell. Sage has taken up a new habit of screaming at the top of her lungs, like letting out quick screams, and it is enough to make me want to drive off the road! I have really been trying to ignore her, but it's so hard when Fern has just finally fallen asleep in her car seat after an hour of crying and then Sage intentionally screams to wake her up.
This blog has become nothing less than a place for me to complain. Hopefully things will get a little easier soon with Sage in preschool and Tray trying to come home at a reasonable hour on Mondays and Tuesdays to help me out. Oh, and some anti-depressants. I feel like I am not doing anything well right now, mom, wife, daughter, friend, sewer, athlete. That's a crappy feeling.
s is done her lunch g/g

update: again i feel somehow validated as it IS another (or the same) infection.