I never thought that the process of potty training could be so emotional. I am not talking about getting upset about mistakes, or Sage's desire to be in total control of when she wants to sit on the potty. The first night, after she did a #1 and #2, I was almost in tears. Thoughts of her growing bigger and just how I have been struggling lately with a good attitude and grateful spirit. At church on Sunday, we did a group prayer type thing where we just confessed for not having a right spirit and for thinking we can do it alone without God. It really helped me realize that I am not the only one who thinks or feels that about God, and that I can confess it and ask for help. Afterwards I was able to take a little deeper breath.
Yesterday was a day full of little accomplishments that mean nothing to the world, really. Well, certainly to other mothers. But laying in bed last night, and all through the day yesterday, I just felt God helping me and encouraging me in this work. The butt-wiping, cleaning pee off the floor, making cookies with two little ones, going grocery shopping, taking a bath. It was nice to be in the moment and feel. Even nursing Fern in the middle of the night, I found myself pulling her close and just reveling in her little body, even as she nibbled me with her new teeth. I am grateful for the day.
I don't know what today will bring, but I don't really care. I am glad even one day went so great.