teething again?

I think that S is teething again. I'm not sure if she is just sick and cranky, or she is getting four big molars (her two year molars). She has been so annoyed with everything lately, and taking it out on all of us.
As you can see, F's tummy is upset from her Amoxicillin, and she blows out of her diaper routinely, in two or more places. I had to take a picture, I couldn't resist.
In less messy news, the other photo is of the freehand embroidery I've been doing. It's a goat, if you can't tell. I am so excited. This onesie is going to my nephew, and we'll see how well it wears.
Both girlies are sleeping, thank God. It's too windy to have F outside today, so I have no idea how we're going to pass the next 5 hours.

muscles?

i went for a ride on this today. after being in the best shape of my life a year ago, it's tough to be so soft and cuddly sometimes. but i'm trying to remember this is such a short phase of life (breastfeeding and having two tiny ones). the bike ride was SUPER fun, i love the new bike. i went down to the river via spring garden street and rode for a little ways on the river path. it was a beautiful day out. it was great to have some time to myself also. i could tell my body had some memory of what it was doing, and now at the same time it's screaming out, "what have you done to me?" when really that would've been a super easy ride before.
now i'm making dinner (i can't remember the last time i did that!!)...zucchini cakes and fries ().
i worked on some bike hats today (tray takes sage to work with him on Sundays). I got exhausted. I am doing assembly-line style so it's hard to be patient with the finished product.
The Trenton Avenue Arts Festival was really, really cool yesterday. I wish it went on every weekend. In bad news, I saw my stuff still hadn't sold pretty late in the day. Oh well! There were a lot of really cool vendors and super cool people, it made me feel proud to live here and proud to be a part of something that cool!

Philippians

Philippians 2:14-16: " Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life-in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."
this life is hard. i'm seeing that I need to have a better attitude about my struggles. Instead of immediately asking, "Why me?", I need to ask, "What do you want me to learn, Lord? Please give me what I need to make it through this struggle, and give me wisdom."
My friend and I started reading Philippians together and getting together to pray each week (or as close to that as possible!). I have been struggling with such a bad attitude these past couple of months.
I am not fixed. I am still being disrespectful to my husband and treating my girls like burdens at certain moments. But I am not dwelling in my negativity for so long and I see that this darkness is truly just a little cloud, that this phase WILL pass. I want to be refined and sharpened. I want to be willing to hear what God is trying to show me and teach me. I want to be a gentle and humble person. I want to be respectful and submissive to my husband. I want to be a mother who guides and teaches and disciplines her daughters in order to align their hearts with God.
In lighter news, I have been sewing and knitting a tiny bit (more so knitting as when I have time to do anything, there is usually a child asleep in the studio room). I knit my first wool soaker (wool diaper cover) and I learned a new technique for freehand machine embroidery. I feel inspired in a whole new way with that! I made my nephew a cool llama onesie and it turned out awesome!
We're about to head to the Trenton Avenue Arts Festival and the Kensington Kintetic Sculpture Derby. I hope it's fun!

life, if i had time

here are the girls. fern is almost 3 months old, and sage is 22 months. life has been a little insane lately. i expected it to be hard, but i think it's always hard to know what that looks like, or how the heart will react to the difficulty.
i won't say i'm proud of most of my work so far with two. i've lost my patience (if i even felt like i started the day with any) by 8 am, used hundreds of time outs, and lots of spanks. fern has been sick a lot, and has needed lots of attention ontop of the hours a day she nurses, and sage has picked up on that. that seems to be the source of most of the hardship.
we did take a nice little getaway last weekend to virginia. we got to spend some time with tray's brother and his wife, and it was a great time. pictures here
(you have to be my contact).
i started "running" again, though i am just starting to not feel like a recovering pregnant person. it's tough! that's about the only time i get to myself at this point, and it happens 1-3 times a week. i usually come home to two screaming kids.
i'm trying to stay positive through this stage, and appreciate the little things during the day, and have the energy to be creative, but it's been tough! i'm sure all you moms out there can relate. fern just projectiled, i should go.

sleep

it's 10:49 PM, and all i really want right now is to get in my bed, get cozy, and sleep for 20 hours straight, with no interruptions besides maybe waking up on my own, only to realize that i can drift off for another so many hours uninterrupted. next to me on the couch is fern, struggling to breathe through her nasty snot accumulation, and offering up a lame cry. she's wiggling her swaddled body. we're both pathetic.
she has an ultrasound tomorrow at CHOP at 9 AM, to check on her kidneys' fluid levels. part of me is praying the weather will keep us from making the appointment.
now she's trying to latch onto my upper arm. pregnancy does great things to thighs, arms, and chins. let me tell you.

fern francis duffy

Fern Francis Duffy was born last Friday, January 25, 2008. She weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces, and measured 18.5 inches long. The birth was amazingly awesome, and I got to catch her as she came out and bring her up to my chest!! She is doing great, nursing great and keeping me up at night as expected. It is amazing to look at her little face and hear her little noises. Her big sister is having a tough go of adjusting to her new life, but each day is getting a little easier...kind of. Each morning I'm having to rely on the truth that God's grace is sufficient for today.

still waiting for fern francis. still exhausted and trying to rely on God's grace and provision to deal with sage's new stage of temper tantrums.
can't believe i'll be holding another baby soon. a different baby. wow.