june heat

today it's thankfully much cooler than yesterday. that was tough. sage and i went to the outdoor pool for her first swim out there. i'm slowly taking her underwater for longer and longer spouts (still like under 2 seconds, but feels like eternity to me). she loves the water and playing with other kids (more like watching them). her walking is getting better and better, except for two faceplants this morning as she tried to walk up a ramp. oops.
in bigger news, we are expecting our next baby next winter! i don't know how far along i am and don't have an appointment for an ultrasound until june 12th, but you can all be keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. i'm quite excited, but of course this means no triathlon, at least i doubt it. i haven't been to the midwife yet. i'm pretty excited that Lord willing the babies will be like 18 months apart. hopefully sage's temper tantrums stay somewhat bearable for me. i'm feeling good, just ridiculously tired and sick if i am hungry. and of course the fun cravings and sensitive smell, etc etc.
i'm trying to get my clothing company going again now that i have more free time from not training. i'll keep you posted.

i got a new haircut:

variable sunshine, scattered thunderstorms

i feel like i've accomplished so much already today. now i'm exhausted. the most gratifying was certainly cleaning the bathtub. i love 'mr clean'.
i've been particularly struck with my devotional bible's entry about boasting. the entry was by a woman who wrote about her struggle with feeling inadequate, and how it manifested in her being judgemental and finding fault in others. she then came across the passage (i don't have the verses) that state that God doesn't want the wise to boast of their wisdom, or the rich of their riches. but rather, He would have us boast about knowing Him, about His kindness, justice, and righteousness. I feel like i'm either busying myself with judging others, or i'm realizing my need to be accepted and i'm trying everything i can to prove myself to others so i have something to boast about. i'm trying to understand what God means through this passage. some people say it's enough to just know that God loves us. i think i like this passage because it becomes less about God loving me, and more about loving God and knowing why we love Him.
i need a nap.

thursday thursday

Thursdays are always kind of weird. It's now the lull-day of my week. When I was in school, it seemed wednesdays were like hump day, you know, the halfway mark. now that tray has off on wednesdays, and every other thursday, thursdays are now weird. not quite friday, and our day off is over.
we went out for a ride yesterday, while sage played with grandma bunny. she had a great time and so did we. i feel like i'm more able to keep a faster steady pace when riding with tray now. i'm sure it helps that it was mostly flat, but i don't feel like there's such a huge difference in our fitness levels anymore. before it used to get me down because i'm so competitive, so i feel like i'm enjoying riding with him more and more. i can actually participate in conversation the whole time now. i really love riding.
sage is cruising all over the place. it's fun and scary. she loves climbing the stairs. she's in her crib up from a nap and talking to herself right now. she keeps saying, "dak-huuun", whatever that means. it sounds like, "doggy", "daddy", and "ducky", three things which she loves. sometimes she'll say, "dak-huun, nak-huun" over and over. she's really fun lately.
alright i gotta run.

first ever blogger post

Today is Monday. A storm rolled in leaving snow on the ground, so wet and thick. My brother couldn't make it back to Montreal, so we get another day with him. Another person in the house is great, just another body's worth of stuff and mess. It doesn't help that he's a messy guy. I am hiding in my room to avoid all of the dirt.
Kids were shot today in virginia. i can't imagine what the campus and the families are going through. it's hard to not want to figure out what was going on in that person's head, why hurting others could possibly bring about resolution for hurt or pain in themselves. When i am feeling hurt, even by someone else, i rarely think of hurting them or others. i guess i do in a more passive aggressive way, by truly and deeply experiencing my pain so that they see how much hurt they've caused. usually i just want to eat more. it's just strange how we all deal with things differently.
it is rainy out. i'm getting sick of the cold with nothing to do outside besides shop. this area seems so consumer-based, like defining a day is stating what one purchased or aquired that day. i'm sick of it.
sage is really wanting to walk. she's exhausting at this stage, and i'm trying to remember that the next stage will probably be harder in some ways. she is quite proud of herself when she does things alone though, so hopefully less frustration there. but then again, i guess more frustration because i won't be able to allow her to do all the things she'll want to do. i see discipline starting in the not-so-faraway future. i need to start reading books on raising a strong-willed child.